Saturday, 20 August 2016

FREE BOOK! Not only that, FREE BOOK WITH LGBTQ REP!


As a lot of you know, my first novel WE AWAKEN came out last month and I have been getting some really great feedback and reviews. So how would you like to contribute your own?

It would be great to get more people reading and reviewing it in order to spread the word, so I am offering the ebook for FREE in epub, mobi, or PDF format. Because it’s an eBook, you can participate no matter what country you’re in.

Interested? Send me a link to your Goodreads profile or blog and I will happily send the novel your way. Because we could all use some more lady loving ladies.

Feel free to email me at officialcalista@gmail.com


For those of you who are reading this blog because, for some reason, my life seems interesting to you, here is a recap of some of my queer misadventures lately:

  • Went to a gay/feminist bookshop in Philadelphia and bought three books for a dollar each, got a bag of free condoms, and a shirt that says Cirque du So Gay on it.
  • Because of that shirt, I am now the token lesbian in the background of an upcoming film. I showed up as an extra and got shoved behind the main actors in quite a few scenes.
  • Met an artist who combines robots, artifacts, and ghosts. It was a good time.
  • Typed 32,000 words and then got distracted and now I have to pick up the slack.
Hope you're all having a fantastic day! I'm about to go spend the money I made being an extra on too many books.

Friday, 12 August 2016

Handling Homophobia- How I Didn't Do It

I have been procrastinating on writing another blog post because my word goal for the next novel is 10,000 typed every three days. So far I’ve been (mostly) successful, but today I didn’t quite make it. This has been my view:

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Yeah, I’ve basically moved into this coffee shop but the sleeves are incredible. My fav says Congratulations on your divorce! on it, but this one is I like big cups and I cannot lie. If you don’t get it to-go it comes served in mason jars and I just can’t trust that.

Anyway, instead of contributing to the arguably more important word count of my novel, I’m going to tell you guys a tale of how I was accidentally a bitch in high school.

Mine was pretty tolerant. Painfully North Eastern. My high school had a Gay Straight Alliance- although it was mostly straight girls gossiping about their gay ships on TV- and we participated in the Day of Silence. Loads of kids would wear duct tape over their mouths for the entire day as a show of solidarity with how the LGBTQ community was frequently silenced.

They were probably just using it as an excuse to not have to speak in class but the thought is still there.

Not to mention our Homecoming King was an incredible, theatre loving underdog of an awkward closeted gay boy. I cried when he won and that’s not an exaggeration. It was something straight out of a Disney film and I had a painfully American high school experience.

There were a few instances of Not Niceness, though. Hate mail left on the lunch table of a lesbian couple. Cruel postings online about how we had gay people at our school but “not the hot kind” (????). One caught me off guard, though.

My freshman year during gym class I frequently opted to walk laps around the track instead of playing sports because I could gossip with friends and not be expected to understand the workings of a game. I walked with many different people and had some bizarre conversations during class. One day, I spoke with a girl who I knew to be religious- she was planning to attend a catholic uni- about how I wrote an essay on gay rights. It hadn’t even crossed my mind that that could be a controversial topic.

She asked me “For or against?” Oh no. I told her that of course I wrote in support of gay marriage and she just looked so disgusted. She told me how it was “unnatural” and against the Bible and all that usual stuff. I tried bringing up how shellfish was also banned but she told me that was a matter of interpretation and I just totally blanked on how to handle the situation and walked away. The other girl we had been walking with stayed.

And that began my four year grudge against Shellfish-Eating Homophobe with Brown Hair. No, I didn’t know her name.
It appeared that she was Student of the Month.
I was forced to sit next to her in the library and made a big show of ignoring her the entire time. She would stand in front of my friend’s lockers and I would just walk past.

Bitch moves, I agree, but at the time I felt justified in doing them.

Except it turned out there were two nearly identical girls with brown hair, one of which was actually quite nice. My absolute shit memory for faces means that I confused the two and spent my entire career making a decent individual think I was a bitch while the homophobe ran free, not nearly as knowledgeable of my ire as I thought.

So here’s a lesson, kiddos. When you hold a grudge, make sure you know who it’s directed at. I hope the religious girl is having fun at her school and is proud of the fact that she was my first experience with bias directed at me. Wow! She took my Homophobe Virginity! An honor of the first degree, I assure you. If I kept up at the rate I was going in high school, I would currently be a being composed purely of rage and silent treatments.

I was hoping to tell the story of the time I gave a speech on bisexuality, everyone assumed I was bi, and many people made clever “in the closet” puns at me for the rest of the year, but that would just take too long. Also it wasn’t even offensive and I had a darn fine time with that particular misunderstanding. God, high school was bizarre.

So what else have I been up to? I do love to keep y’all updated. I went to a beach at midnight last night and watched a meteor shower. It was my first time seeing a shooting star! Fantastic stuff. Not much else. Loads of stuffed french toast and writing. Faking productivity. Making friends with strange old French teachers in Starbucks. There are streaks of violet in my hair and  I bought a massive flower crown for $1. As is life.

Tuesday, 2 August 2016

Travelling Book! Read and write on We Awaken. For free!

Hello my darlings,

Exciting news! Now that the giveaway has ended (and everyone who won has been emailed) I’m offering another opportunity to read my book to all you fantastic people.

There will be a Travelling Book of We Awaken!


That’s right, ten lucky individuals will get to write and draw all over a copy of my asexual F/F novel and all they have to pay for is the shipping to send it to the next person.

I’ll get to that later, though. Let’s talk about my life because this is my blog and I’m an egotist.
I’ve begun reading my books for the Modern American Fiction course I’m taking next term in uni. Wise Blood by Flannery O’ Connor has been defeated and I’m now working on Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. Good stuff.

I’m excited to be the #tokenAmerican in the class. Last year whenever we read Walt Whitman I was constantly asked to explain what the frontier is (I just described Frontierland in Disney World) as well as the American voting system. Also I was generally chosen to read Ginsburg because of my accent.

That’s alright, though. I love a good beatnik every now and again. There’s a reason why Kill Your Darlings is my header on Tumblr.

The next novel is coming along swimmingly thanks to my sexy notebook, although I’ve hit a bit of a rough patch in the plot. Getting my whimsical character from one side of a city to the other without using public transportation is proving quite difficult.

Also I played pinball for five hours straight last night and have lived to tell the tale. Living in a town with this many arcades is trying. I have learned, though, that my favorite type of pinball machine is the sort with epilepsy warnings.

Okay and now I’ll stop boring you with details of my life in suburbia- I head back to London on September 19th, holla!

Details on the Travelling Book:

Write in the book! Draw on it! Paint weird things in the margins! And if you post pics, tag them #WeAwakenTravelling so I can get excited with you.

-US only
-10 spots
-2 weeks to read

If you’re interested, message me on tumblr (calista-lynne.tumblr.com) or send an email to officialcalista@gmail.com

I’ll only disclose your address to the person sending you the book, so don’t worry.